I can’t drink from the water cooler anymore. There’s something in it. Continue reading morning coffee: There’s Something in the Water
I don’t mean to complain. I’m not complaining. I’m not a complainer, per se, but I’ve been the only team member to consistently show up to work for over three weeks. Continue reading morning coffee: Everyone is Dead, Maybe, Possibly
Someone’s sending me messages after hours, I think. Continue reading morning coffee: My Notebook’s Trying to Warn Me
I burned Bill today.
The following post contains misquotes and inaccuracies. I have the correct statements scattered somewhere around this office, but I don’t feel like looking them up. I’m not sorry. Deal with it. Continue reading Stop Eulogizing the Living.
I gave Bill a haircut today. Now he’s bigger than ever.
Bill, my desk plant, keeps growing. He won’t stop growing. Dear God, make him stop growing. Continue reading morning coffee: A Third Inexplicable Leaf
It was a snug fit, but I managed to pull myself up from the bottom of the lunch box. Continue reading morning coffee: What I Saw at the Top
“Hello,” I said. “I bet you weren’t expecting to find me here.” I wasn’t. Continue reading morning coffee: What I Saw at the Bottom